This morning I was anxious. Probably for a few reasons I could figure out, for a few others that I’m ignoring or avoiding, and a few that have not yet been excavated.
Anyway, I debated going to yoga or staying home on the couch under blankets. I love the Saturday morning class. But I had gone to yoga Thursday night, seeking grounding and calm, and got frustrated with myself. I couldn’t get out of my head, I couldn’t ground myself, I couldn’t quiet my thoughts. I left yoga judging myself MORE (productive, right?), texting a friend, “Yoga is supposed to be the ONE place where I can ground myself.”
Now, obviously judging how you’re feeling is like, the least productive thing in the entire world, but when you’re in the moment, it’s easier said than done. But, nevertheless, I got dressed and went to yoga. The anxiety in my stomach was swirling but I walked into the studio, put my mat in my favorite spot, stretched a bit, and lay down on my back, putting my hand on my belly, trying to feel myself breathe.
All of a sudden, a sweet voice popped into my head, saying, “Find your calm.” It was Brooke, an adorable, amazing girl, that despite never having met in person, I feel a deep connection with from the way her mom invites us into her head and her life, and because she reminds me so so much of all of my wonderful kids I work with.
“Find your calm” became my mantra as I breathed in and out, and by the time class began, I had found it. My thoughts slowed down, my heart slowed down, I breathed deeply and felt myself relax.
Brooke: I hope one day I can tell you this, and I hope you understand, but please know that YOU helped ME find my calm.
7 comments
I have tried three times now to leave a comment and I keep deleting everything I write. So I’m just going to go with this:
I love this.
And thank you.
xo
Jess
Xoxoxo
Found you through Diary of a Mom….and I just read every single one of your past babbles! You get it, that’s easy to see, and why I bet you are great at your job. I also work with special need kids, and autistic kids bring me the most joy. Your intuitiveness due to your own sensitivities and having the courage to share your soul kept me reading, so please keep writing! I’m more than twice your age, but felt friendship in your sharing. On a side note, if you’ve not read any of Donna Williams books, you might enjoy how she also had mixed senses, and her sharing helped me understand what some of my students might be experiencing the world around them.
This made me teary, I can’t thank you enough for your kind words. I felt a friendship in your words too! And, I appreciate the recommendation, I will check out her books!
I find so much wisdom in Brooke’s and Emma’s words…. https://www.facebook.com/EmmasHopeBook?ref=ts&fref=ts
I actually had a poster made of Emma’s words ‘Helpful thoughts of calming kindness’ and it is in our dining room. ‘Find your calm’ is another that I may need to put up! Such important reminders for everyone.
And I, too find so much Autism Awesomeness in each day.
Brooke and Emma are so brilliantly wise! Love the idea of writing the words down! I just may do that at work.
I love this, Brooke helps me too.